Dating Book

So, I’m thinking of writing a book on dating. The funny thing is that I don’t really remember dating Sean. In fact, maybe dating is not the answer. Dating seems to be something that people do for fun. For some reason, people who date got the impression that dating is how you form lasting relationships with the opposite sex. I don’t think that’s the case now that I think about it. I think that dating is a bunch of rules and expectations that may have no basis outside a mid 19th century era of social norms.

When you find someone intriguing, there should be no rules. If they feel the same, nobody is going to want to try to abide by some arbitrary expectations about what you are suppose to do and what you are not suppose to do. When I met my husband, all of that went out the window. It didn’t matter if we went to a fancy restaurant or if we just sat on the grass, all we wanted to do was talk to each other. Letting myself discover who he was as a person was so exciting to me as was sharing myself and who I was with him. Hours and hours passed just talking about our beliefs, our dreams, debating a bit but everything he said was riveting to me. I don’t think developing the deep loving relationship we have would have been possible if we had the crazy expectations that go along with most dating couples today.

Nobody had to wait any specific time to call the other person. I do remember that I was a bit unsure if he was as into me as I was him so I made sure to do a self sanity check. Nope, I wasn’t the only one who wanted us to spend every free moment together – he did too. It makes me sad that people today are over-thinking their “relationships” before they even really have a relationship. Perhaps everyone is busy playing it safe and not revealing who they really are. Maybe that’s why so few people on dates today are enraptured with the person they’re with… how can you develop strong feelings about someone who’s got a protective wall up? You can’t!
Even in those romantic comedies that we all love, the give us true moments that one character has that allows the other main character to see who they really are. Isn’t it always those moments where the relationship really starts. Well, I don’t believe we need crazy movie worthy moments to reveal ourselves. It’s time to stop playing the games and really let yourself be you. If he doesn’t like it, great you’ve skipped all the pretenses and dating rituals and you’re free to move on in your search for the love of your life.

It’s okay to call him, it’s okay to make the first move, it’s okay to follow your heart. Yes, it could get bruised a little bit. If you really can’t find it in yourself to put the real you out there him to see, it may be time to turn your sights inward. I’m going to ask you a question and I want you to answer honestly… do you love you? I know, it seems so cliché but it really is necessary for you to love you before you can find the love you seek. One of the beautiful things about the beginning of a great relationship is how you get to love and appreciate yourself even more and in new ways because of the view you get of you from your love’s eyes. The best thing about really loving and appreciating yourself is that in a way you’ll provide your own protection from getting your heart bruised too badly.